Online safety for pre-teens aged 11-13

Activate parental controls on your home broadband/WiFi and across your child’s mobile network. Look at setting device-wide controls such as through Apple Family Sharing or Google Family Link as well.

You can also activate SafeSearch settings on search engines and customise safety on platforms or apps like YouTube, Roblox and TikTok.

Explore a range of step-by-step parental controls guides to get started.

The age ratings that come with games, apps, films and social media platforms are a good guide to whether they’re suitable for your child. Many apps now have age-specific experiences as well, which means using apps with a false age can leave children open to more risk.

So, when you’re reviewing your child’s apps or the content they’re accessing, check the age ratings to make sure:

• they’re appropriate for your child;
• that your child reaches the age minimums as set out by the Terms of Service.

The following resources can help:

• Guide to age minimums on social media (generally 13+)
• Search video games on PEGI
• Search TV and film on BBFC

Agree and set boundaries with your child (and get the whole family on board). At this age, your child will appreciate having a voice in these boundaries, so work together.

Decide together on when they can use their device, where they can use their device and for how long. You can also agree on boundaries around what they can do on different devices. For example, maybe playing Roblox is only allowed on the PS5 in the living room rather than a tablet in their bedroom.

Make sure you clarify that setting these boundaries isn’t about control but safety.

Use this digital family agreement template to help.

Check-in with your child about their online life just like you would their offline life. In the same way you ask them about school, ask them about the achievements in their latest game, who they’re talking to and what kind of content they like watching.

Having daily check-ins and open conversations in a casual environment can make it easier to tackle tough topics later on.

Find tips for conversation in this guide for parents and carers.

Some conversations will feel awkward for both you and your child. However, these are often the most important chats to have.

Discuss unhealthy behaviours like grooming, coercion, hate and abuse. Talking about the signs of harmful people can help your child recognise when to report, block or get additional help.

Discuss things that could put them in harm’s way such as sharing personal information, sending nude images and viewing violent or pornographic content. Talking about positive ways to conduct themselves online can help reinforce healthy behaviours in themselves. This can also help them stay safer as they engage with more social spaces online.

Learn about your pre-teen’s favourite video games, platforms and online interests by joining them. Remember, their online life is their real life – so take an interest. Give them the opportunity to show you some of their favourite things.

Your involvement in their digital life will also make it easier for them to talk to you about their concerns. If they know that you have some background knowledge, it will feel easier to bring up an issue.